Lately.. things just haven’t been the best for me. Ever since my parents have been gone, the worse. Each day that passes, i just wish they were coming back soon. Please oh please, let the days fly by. I’ve learned a lot these past couple of days. Not anything good. I never knew how stupid i can be for knowing who’s real and who’s not. I figured out that you don’t really know a person, til one or the other fucks up. I’ve gotten closer to a little cousin of mine and got to know them better. As of right now, I’m not comfortable. I just wish i was home. Home in my bed.. at my house! Where my parents stay. This has yet to be one of the worst positions i have ever been in. I feel as if i can’t be strong again. Although i have all the power and strength in the world. I just feel like there is just no point in standing up for myself. Really.. if i could, I WOULD. fuck that. i fucking would. In this situation, it would do me no good.
Sleeping at night. Not the best. I don’t even have dreams. I wake up every hour. I go to sleep unhappy. Not feeling like "Anita". I try to keep myself busy, trying not to think of the shithole i’m in. I have cried so hard and its not helping much. I just wish it did. I’m so hurt inside that there are no more tears to even begin with. My words can’t explain anything. It’s just too close.
I know for a fact, that i’m not stupid. I have so much going ahead of me, that can’t NOBODY tell me that i’m stupid. It just really bugs me that someone would say such a thing when they don’t know half the things they’re saying. Some people are better off not saying a damn thing. Most out there are all talk. In the end, imma be the one giving them something to talk about. This blog is a disappointment. I never would have thought i would spill my feelings ever, about this. Not ever did i think i would ever feel this way. And yet to think.. I was just having a blast in the summer of 2010.
Mom and dad.. come back soon. I’m ready to go back to the life i was having. This has made me realize so much.